185

David

During Warren’s viewing, David had thought it might be droll to baffle the (air quotes) bereaved by combining penetrating stares with ridiculously long pregnant pauses.

And so whenever someone approached him to offer his or her condolences, he would stare disconcertingly at a point slightly above the middle of that person’s forehead and inwardly count hippopotamus one, hippopotamus two, until he reached twenty-five before saying “thank you” or whatever random remark happened to pop into his head. Then he’d salt the rest of what passed for conversation with absurdly protracted pauses—without shifting his unblinking gaze—until the disconcerted well-wisher flaked off, ostensibly to respectfully regard Warren’s corpse or appreciatively examine one of the two meager floral arrangements book-ending Warren’s coffin.

At Hope’s funeral service he opted to go with enigmatic air quotes instead. For instance, when a lady from Hope’s apartment building commented on how good Hope looked in repose, David replied, “Yes, she certainly does,” air quoting does.

But a little later, when Milena took him aside and told him she was late—air quoting the word late—he had no frigging idea what she meant.

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