My most awkward moment

You know, I have absolutely no idea what my proudest moment was, or if any moment in my life deserves that distinction. I ponder and ponder, but nothing moves to the fore. On the other hand, I can tell you with absolute certainty what my most awkward moment was.

High-school play rehearsal. Couldn't find fellow cast member and best friend. (Omigod! I actually did have a best friend once.) Finally checked darkened backstage music room. Found friend slumping over covered keyboard of upright piano. (Playing dead, I quite naturally assumed, because pranking was his, like, métier.)

Ran bellowing across darkened room. Leapt onto friend's slumping back. Began pummeling friend's head with blunted blows while assailing friend's ears with chortled obscenities. Then I heard him ... sob! (His adored girlfriend, I later learned, had broken up with him only minutes before.)

Yes. He was weeping.

And there I was, right up there on his back. My knees digging into his ribs, my palms resting on his shoulders, my mind struggling for a way to extract my stupid self from that surreal situation in something resembling a dignified manner. (I mean, really, how does one go about climbing down from a distraught friend's back graciously?)

Yup. That was my most awkward moment by a country mile. Care to share yours?

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