When my tenth-grade English teacher took maternity leave midway through the school year, she was replaced with an eager, fresh-out-of-college sub named Miss Cizek, whom I think of as Stephanie now, having virtually caught up with her in age.
Miss Cizek bore a striking resemblance to movie actress Juliet Prowse, so we boys naturally hung on her every word, typically to the point of forgetting to swallow.
As it turned out, listening closely to young Stephanie Cizek wound up having a life-altering effect on me. Because, out of the clear blue sky one morning, she launched into an aside containing possibly the most profound advice I've ever received from a teacher or anyone.
She said we should never fail to compliment people to their faces whenever we notice something admirable about them. Strangers included. "Don't be afraid to speak up," she said. "You could make a huge difference in how that person is feeling right then. And they'll never know you're thinking something good about them unless you tell them."
(This, from a 22-year-old.)
I've never forgotten Miss Cizek's words, and have put them into practice countless times—frequently receiving in return the rich reward of a startled expression of acute gratitude from the recipient of one of my impromptu compliments.
Beyond the warm-and-fuzzy feeling that comes from making a fellow human being feel good about herself or himself, I've benefited from Miss Cizek's advice from a sharpened awareness occasioned by dozens of years of simply paying a little more attention to others.
So, if you're not already incorporating random acts of verbal appreciation into your daily routine, I urgently recommend getting in on the program immediately. Start startling others—with compliments—today.
And now to give credit where due: This post was inspired by Three Cheers for Compliments, posted yesterday at a lovely blog I follow called "Finding Happy." Check it out by clicking here.
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Thanks...for the post, and the compliments. Maybe we can help start our own little compliment revolution. :)
ReplyDeletePay it forward. Great post and excellent advice.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true pops. I need to do more of this!! People seem to have no problem with picking out the negative atributes of others, which I have been a recipient of countless times. I know I would most defenitly appreciate a random compliment every now and again.
ReplyDeleteI've done such myself and it has a lingering good feeling with it. In fact, one such compliment I gave to a friend of a friend still lingers in conversation, providing smiles and chuckles, and it happened over a decade ago!
ReplyDeleteAmazing how much impact a random act of appreciation has...the fact that the lasting effects of such a gesture are still felt a decade later is exactly the point. In fact, the anticipation of my next random compliment is enough to make me feel good already. I can't wait. Thanks for the tweek.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you about the "decade" compliment: me, my best friend Beth, and her friend Michelle were waiting in the school cafeteria for our kids to be dismissed. We were just talking casually and I (a heterosexual female, mind you) was admiring Michelle's dark Italian beauty. I worked up the nerve to blurt out "Michelle, I just want you to know that I think you are really beautiful" and then proceeded to blush profusely and get extremely embarrassed. Astonished, she thanked me and of course I had to assure her that I wasn't "weird" or anything. We laughed and said our goodbyes. Beth later told me that Michelle went home and said "YES!" and filled her husband in on what had happened. Ever since then, Michelle has no longer been simply "Michelle" when referred to in conversations. She is still referred to as "the beautiful Michelle" and Beth and I still chuckle over that.
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