First million
Reprinted courtesy of The Beemer Babbler
The Beemer children's millionth "shut up" occurred last week in a brief but spirited altercation among Thea, Kelly, and Remy concerning which of them will initiate all or most of the verbal combat predicted for Easter vacation by their anxious mother.
The honor of notching number 1,000,000 fell to the copper-haired Thea, 14, who recommended that Remy shut up after Remy had posed the identical suggestion in Thea's direction and sought parental authorization to "sock" the girl.
Asked how she felt about missing the one-million mark by a single shut-up, Remy, 15, answered, "I'm not surprised Thea got it. That little wench gets everything, including all the babysitting jobs."
"Oh, shut up, Remy—I do not!" Thea offered.
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I probably would've told Remy to "suck it," but then Mom would've knocked my teeth down my throat.
ReplyDeleteHaha that's too funny. I love that you are a writer and have documented events in our childhood. I wish I could give the same to my kids. (but I am too lazy) :)
ReplyDeleteThis is incredibly hilarious! Did Remy have to fill out an infamous permission slip to "sock" Thea??
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting, Veronica. Those permission slips circumvented a lot of exasperated eye-rolling and indignant storming-off by our kids, because submitting one required checking off a box asserting that all of the applicant's assigned chores had been completed for the week, or something along that line, which was hardly ever the case. We therefore avoided denying many requests directly. But the chore lists and permission slips didn't get the job done and were abandoned after a while. Parenting is a lot of trial and error; we never stopped trying and we sure made a lot of errors.
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